By Lei Lydle Founder and Editor Last Updated: 5/11/2009 7:50:02 AM

Who Makes The Announcement?

Engagement announcements are usually put in the paper by the bride's parents or immediate family to announce their happiness to the community. Some older couples put their announcement in the paper themselves. And, some couples choose to announce their engagement in a more private and personal way - such as by word-of-mouth or an engagement party.

Engagement announcements usually appear in the newspaper of the bride's hometown two to three months before the wedding date. However, they may appear up to a year before or even a few days before. Circumstances and personal preference prevail here.

The bride's family should ask the groom's family if they would like to have an engagement announcement appear in their local paper also. It is the bride's parents (or the bride's) responsibility to send the same announcement to the groom's parents' newspaper of choice.

According to Emily Post's Book on wedding Etiquette, "the only time a public announcement is not in good taste is when there has recently been a death in either family, or if a member of the immediate family is desperately ill." Ms. Post also stresses that no engagement announcement should ever be made if someone is still legally married.

Many newspapers will have a certain format for these types of announcements, however, some require that you write your own. The standard format is to say something like:

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith of Anytown, Anystate, announce the engagement of their daughter, Miss Mary Smith, to Mr. John Doe, Jr., son of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, Sr. of Anothertown, Anystate. A July wedding is planned."

The following paragraph usually states first where the bride went to college and where she currently works and then states the same for the groom.

Of course there are many special cases where the wording may be different - one or more deceased parents, divorced parents, the bride is adopted, etc. Common sense tells us to use good taste and discretion in these types of situations.

For example, in the case of a deceased parent, the parent who is still living makes the announcement and mentions the deceased in the next sentence:

"Miss Smith is also the daughter of the late Betsy Smith."

Or if one of the groom's parents are deceased:

"...son of Mrs. John Doe and the late Mr. Doe..."

For divorced parents, something similar is appropriate. If the parents are friends they may just announce together:

"Mr. John Smith of Atlanta, Georgia and Mrs. Alex Shaw of Athens, Georgia, announce the engagement of their daughter..."

In case one of the parents who is remarried is really giving the wedding and making the announcement, the other parent should be mentioned in the second sentence:

"Miss Smith is also the daughter of..."

In the case of adoption, the fact that the bride or groom is adopted does not need to be mentioned.

The announcement of an orphan's engagement should be handled by her closest relative, godparent or close friend. The basic wording in this situation would be:

"The engagement of Miss... (daughter of the late...) is announced, to Mr...."

And, if the bride is a widow or divorcee, the wording is basically the same as the traditional wording except the bride's current married name is used instead of her maiden name.

If for some reason the groom's parents make the announcement, they should still say:

"The engagement of Miss..., daughter of Mr. and Mrs...., to Mr...., son of Mr. and Mrs..., is announced."

Works cited:
Post, Elizabeth L. Emily Post's Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette (Revised Edition). New York: Harper Collins Publisher, 1991.

Comments (4)

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Posted by: LLW from Toano, Va. on 5/10/2009 9:16:38 PM

How do you word your wedding announcement if both parents are deceased Wedding Date: June 13, 2009

Posted by: Destinee from Lansing MI on 6/12/2005 10:44:27 PM

Do you have to legally put an engagement announcement in the paper? Wedding Date: August, 27 2005

Posted by: Julia from Fort Worth Texas on 2/14/2005 5:56:41 PM

I need to know how to word this mix. My grooms mom has been remarried for about 15 years and his father is in a 10 year live in relationship, but not married. If we say.. groom's parents are "mom and stepdad" and also the son of "real dad". wouldn't that be rude to his real dad to put him second? Also should we include the dads long term live. They have been together 10 years! Wedding Date: unknown

Posted by: Geneva and Sean Carey from Monroe, Michigan on 12/29/2003

My fiance and I have been dating for one year in a half now and we have decided to get married. My proposal was just amazing, we had went to dinner and he went to get the bear and gave it to me and i was so excited when he opened it for me and then got down on his knee and put the ring on my finger and asked me to marry him. ( i said yes). We have already set out wedding arrangements with the hall and the church for Spetember 3rd of 2004. we just wanted to sahre our joyfull experience with everyone!!! Thank you for giving us the time to let everyone know were getting married soon. Geneva And Sean Carey. Wedding Date: September 3rd of 2004